Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
