I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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