She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
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