Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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