I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
