Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
