I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
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