We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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