It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
