it glows. i had to have it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
