I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
