thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
