i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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