You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize