Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
