it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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