I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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