K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I will pee on everything he values.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
