Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
sex in a hospital.. check
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
