Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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