No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
