oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
