scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
