Sponge bath it is.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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