im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
