Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
