I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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