I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
