i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
