We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize