FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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