yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
