So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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