Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
