Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize