i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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