He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
