you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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