My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
