xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Randomize
