He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
