I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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