I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
