You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize