I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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