absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
