So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize