Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
