Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
