He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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