The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
