her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
