We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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