you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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