We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
