wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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