He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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