Three words: puerto rican gang bang
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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