the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
