yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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