This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
